Overgiving Got You Drained? Let’s Fix It!

Overgiving Got You Drained? Let’s Fix It!

Why Giving Too Much Might Be Holding You Back

You’re the one who always shows up. The fixer, the listener, the steady hand in the storm. You give your time, your energy, sometimes even your money, because it feels right.

But have you ever noticed how, even after giving so much, you’re the one left exhausted? Maybe you tell yourself, “It’s fine. I don’t need much.” Yet, deep down, there’s a quiet frustration, a whisper of resentment, a question:

"When is it my turn?"

Overgiving isn’t just about generosity. It’s about patterns. And if you’re constantly pouring into others while neglecting yourself, it’s time to take a closer look.

The Hidden Cost of Always Saying Yes

Being generous feels good. It makes you feel connected, valued, even needed. But here’s what most people don’t talk about: when generosity turns into overgiving, it stops being a gift and starts becoming a drain.

Think about it: when was the last time you said no without guilt? When was the last time you prioritized your own needs without over-explaining yourself?

Signs You Might Be Overgiving:

• You feel guilty when you say no.

• You attract people who always seem to need something from you.

• You give financially, even when it stresses you out.

• You rarely ask for help in return.

• You feel drained, stretched thin, or secretly resentful.

  
  

Overgiving doesn’t just affect your energy—it impacts your opportunities, creativity, and even financial well-being. If this sounds familiar, your generosity might not be as intentional as you think. It might be on autopilot.

Why This Happens: The Invisible Chains of Overgiving

So why do some people always find themselves in the role of the giver? Why is it so hard to step back?

1. Your Identity is Tied to Being Needed

Somewhere along the way, you might have learned that your worth comes from being helpful. That being the strong one is what makes you valuable. The thought of not being needed? Unsettling.

2. Fear of Disappointing Others

Saying no can feel like rejection. Of them, yes, but also of the role you’ve played for so long. You worry: What if they stop relying on me? What if they get upset? What if I let someone down?

3. Avoiding Your Own Needs

Here’s a hard truth: sometimes, overgiving is a distraction. If you’re always focused on helping others, you don’t have to look at what’s missing in your own life. Your dreams. Your desires. Your next step.

Overgiving isn’t just about generosity. It’s often about fear. The fear of not being enough. The fear of being alone. The fear of saying no and wondering who you’ll be without the constant giving.

How to Give Without Losing Yourself

Giving is a beautiful thing, but not when it comes at the expense of your well-being. It’s time to reset. Not to stop giving, but to give in a way that feels good. Balanced. Intentional.

1. Recognize That Giving Shouldn’t Leave You Empty

Repeat after me: Generosity should come from overflow, not depletion. If giving is leaving you exhausted, frustrated, or financially stressed, something needs to change.

2. Start Saying No Without the Guilt

Saying no isn’t selfish. It’s setting a boundary. Start small.
Try:
"I’d love to help, but I can’t do that right now."
"I need to focus on something for myself this time."
Watch what happens when you stop over-explaining your no.

3. Notice When You’re Hiding Behind Helping

Ask yourself: Am I helping because I truly want to? Or because it’s easier than focusing on my own growth?

4. Redefine What It Means to Be Generous

Giving doesn’t always mean giving money. Sometimes, generosity looks like listening, sharing insights, or simply not stepping in when someone needs to figure things out on their own.

Generosity should add to your life, not take away from it.

When you don’t set boundaries, your creativity, your vision, and even your sense of possibility can get blocked.

That’s exactly what we’ll explore in the next post. But for now, take a moment to reflect: What would change if you gave yourself the same generosity you give to others?

Your relationship with money shapes so much more than your finances—it influences how you show up in the world.

If you’re ready to explore this in a deeper way, I’d love to support you with a Money Story Reset.

With love,
Ulrika

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